When your life looks perfect, but you’re silently falling apart…
If you were raised to believe that painful emotions are a sign of weakness, or if being vulnerable has always made you feel unsafe, then you may have survived by creating a perfect-looking life—a life where you appear to be successful, engaged, and always there for others. The problem? You’re filled with self-criticism and shame, and you can’t allow yourself to express fear, anger, loss, or grief. You recognize something is wrong, but you’re not sure what exactly—only that you feel trapped and alone. If this sounds like you, you may have perfectly hidden depression (PHD).
With this compassionate guide, you’ll begin the process of understanding your perfectionism, identifying destructive beliefs, and connecting with emotions suppressed for far too long. You’ll also find tangible tips for quieting that critical inner voice, and powerful strategies for coping with difficult feelings. Most importantly, you’ll learn that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. If you’re ready to stop hiding and start healing, this groundbreaking book will guide you—every imperfect step of the way.
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Summary
Perfectly Hidden Depression by Dr Margaret Rutherford is a must read. Even if you do not think you have it, I am confident that you know someone with it and it will help you in your interactions with them. These people do not appear depressed. They are very active and appear happy; not what you expect depression to look like.
Some of you may automatically know you are a perfectionist. Others may not recognize the behavior until you read how it can manifest itself. The author shares 10 characteristics of perfectly hidden depression.
Once you understand what perfectly hidden depression is very well, the author gives you a quiz to see how well you relate to it. From there we move to part II where you start learning the five stages of healing.
The author includes sections to journal, answer questions and think through what you have read and how it relates to you. In addition, there are real stories; these were very impactful for me. The author’s compassion and empathy come through the book loud and clear. It makes you feel like you know her and the book is written to where you feel she is talking to you directly.
Again, I want to stress that I highly recommend this book. Even if you think it is not for you, I am confident you will know someone you want to share the book with.