I came somewhat late to the idea of the Enneagram. I’m just old enough to remember when all types of personality profiles were considered a form of “divination” that Christians should stay away from. But when the Enneagram grew in popularity over the last couple of years, supplanting everyone’s favorite Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I began reading some of the newer, Christian-based books on the subject— and found myself surprised by the accuracy of their evaluation!
It didn’t take long to discover that I was an Enneagram type 3, “The Achiever.” At our best, I learned that type 3s are successful, motivated, and efficient, and all those descriptors were ones I instantly appreciated and valued. So when it came time to write the female protagonist of The Solid Grounds Coffee Company—Ana Sanchez, a character very much like myself—it was an easy decision to write her as an Enneagram 3.
But as I—and ultimately Ana—found out, there’s a dark side to every personality type, and the type 3’s faults can be particularly difficult to overcome. We have a tendency to take even good things too far, becoming driven, image-conscious, and envious of others’ success. With that in mind, I’d like to offer five reminders for the Enneagram type 3s in our midst.
1.Your worth is not in your accomplishments.
We love to get things done. A fully completed checklist makes our hearts sing, as it’s a physical representation of how efficient we are. But if we’re not careful, we can become so in love with our ability to accomplish great things that we begin to think that we’re the sum of our accomplishments. We can believe that others around us only love us for what we can do for them, and when we fall short—or, heaven forbid, leave a few items undone on our lists—we can give in to feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness. For the type 3, it’s important that we take a moment and center ourselves in the reality of God’s love: He cares for us not because of what we do, but because of who we are, His created, chosen child. Nothing we do or don’t do can affect that reality.
2. People will still love you if you show them who you really are.
Type 3s love to be admired and respected. It’s part of why we’re driven to accomplish more and more. But that also means that we focus on first impressions and outward appearances. If we’re not careful, we will wear those masks even around those we love and who love us. Over time, it can begin to feel impossible to show our real selves to anyone because we’re afraid they only love us for the masks we wear and not who we really are inside. But we have to remember to give our friends and family credit for knowing us better than that—they definitely know we’re not perfect—and loving us anyway.
3. Rest is not the same as failure.
In a checklist-driven day, how many of us type 3s actually schedule breathing room? I’d venture to say few. When you’ve got so many big ideas and so many people are counting on you to deliver, taking a break feels like slacking . . . or even worse, like failure. But rest isn’t a passive thing that you are only supposed to do when your body and mind are stretched to the breaking point. It should be an active, purposeful break from your activities to recharge and refocus on what’s truly important. And in case you need more motivation to take regular breaks and rest days, science has proven that well-rested people who take frequent time out for rest, play, and sleep are happier and more efficient during their work time. That alone should be enough to encourage you to schedule a bit of space in your busy calendar.
4. Having feelings does not make you weak.
There are a lot of reasons why Enneagram 3s have trouble with feelings—one of them being that we have learned to adapt our behavior to our audience and what they expect of us. If you haven’t noticed, feelings make other people uncomfortable, especially when they’re raw ones! But God created us as integrated beings—physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional—and ignoring or suppressing the emotional parts of ourselves often just manifests in negative ways in other areas of our lives. Having feelings does not make you weak, and it doesn’t even make you solely human—God has feelings as well, and it’s something of His divine nature that was passed on to us as beings created in His image. If Jesus wept in the Bible, why should we think that we’re exempt?
5. There is enough success to go around.
The high-achieving nature of the Enneagram type 3 can sometimes manifest itself in a competitive nature. When it drives us to do our best, that can be a good thing. But when left unchecked, and complicated by the beliefs I described in the first three reminders, it can manifest itself in envy and the feeling that someone else’s success takes away from our own. The truth is, even in very competitive industries or markets, someone else’s achievement only paves the way for your own. And if we truly seek God’s will and trust that He has a plan for our lives—one that has our best interests in mind—then we won’t worry that someone else is going to take “our spot” or our acclaim. God’s plans for us are never thwarted—even if the path to get there is different or longer than we’d like it to be.
These realizations have been hard-won for me through years of struggling and achieving, and I wish that I’d been able to see myself and my type 3 nature clearly much sooner than I did. I could have saved myself a lot of pain and struggle had I understood my own motivations in the early years of my career. It’s my hope that my fellow Enneagram 3s will see something of themselves in my journey—and Ana’s—and realize how beautiful and invigorating it can feel to be an “Achiever” in alignment with God’s love and acceptance.
Carla is the author of The Solid Grounds Coffee Company.
Book Description: Analyn Sanchez can handle the long hours and arrogant clients that come with her job as a crisis management associate at Denver’s largest publicity firm. The high-powered job, expensive condo, and designer wardrobe are all part of her plan to prove to her family that her life choices haven’t been in vain. But when she’s asked to cover up a client’s misdeeds with serious moral and legal ramifications, she can no longer sacrifice her conscience for her career . . . and the cost is no less than her job.
Ever since a devastating climbing accident in South America eight months ago and a bad decision that dried up his sponsorships, professional rock climber Bryan Shaw has found himself at similar loose ends. When the opportunity to buy a coffee farm in Colombia arises, he jumps on it—only to discover his wandering ways have left him utterly unprepared to run a business.
When Bryan returns home and offers Ana a role in his company as a solution to both their problems, she’s desperate enough to consider working with the far-too-flippant and far-too-handsome climber, even though he’s the polar opposite of her type A nature. As they delve deeper into the business, however, she begins to suspect there’s much more to Bryan than she’s given him credit for . . . and that sometimes the best plans are the ones you never see coming.