An Interview with Lauren Gaskill, Author of Into the Deep

I should have drowned years ago. When the waves of anxiety, depression and chronic pain came crashing over me, the “faith” I’d been raised to practice couldn’t keep my head above the waves. But I didn’t drown. I’m still here. Because by God’s grace, in the undertow I discovered a deep faith in Jesus that saved me from sinking into the depths and catapulted me straight into His rescuing arms.

He saved me from drowning, and my hope in writing this book is that He might use my story to help save others who feel like they are drowning too.

Q: You’ve been a swimmer for most of your life. How were you able to relate that experience to the message you wanted to share in this book?

There is something beautiful and mysterious about water. It’s elemental to our existence, but depending on the environment, it can also be a threat. When I was little and didn’t know how to swim, the water terrified me. But once I mastered the strokes, deep waters became a place of freedom and adventure. These experiences on the swim team are very similar to the experiences I’ve lived through in my faith journey, and that’s why I chose the water illustration. Fear can hold us back from learning how to swim, but it can also hinder us from stepping out courageously in faith. There are so many parallels and biblical illustrations (I mean right there in Genesis 1:2), I knew this was the lens I had to write the book through.

Q: In the first chapter, you share your passion for helping people learn how to exercise faith. Have you always felt that way?

No, because I didn’t always realize that faith was the answer — the thing that could and would keep me from drowning. It took a long time for me to finally reach out to Jesus and trust Him to pull me up, but when I did, my life was forever changed. Faith in Jesus saved me from a life of despair, and that’s why I intend to spend the rest of my life helping others fight for faith too. I help others learn how to press on in faith and lead lives of joy through blogging, hosting a bimonthly podcast and speaking at conferences around the country.

I started experiencing anxiety in high school, after a traumatic event triggered panic attacks.

Q: You are very open about your struggle with chronic pain and the recurrent anxiety and depression that come along with it. How did your physical issues cause you to lose faith? Tell us about how you’ve learned to overcome these challenges.

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos is a nasty disorder — I truly wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. One day, you can wake up feeling like you’ve been hit by a bag of bricks or two semis. Other days, you can’t move without being in pain or risking injury from loose joints making bones pop out everywhere. Having unstable joints means arthritic pain is a constant companion and makes it hard to do “normal” tasks like lifting bags, exercising or evening cutting vegetables for dinner some days. These difficult physical challenges made it hard to keep faith in the beginning because I didn’t understand why God wasn’t healing me. When I finally opened my heart to the possibility of healing, bad turned to worst, and it made me question everything I believed in.

After years of diving deeper with Jesus, at the end of the day, no matter what pain I experience, I know in the deepest parts of my soul that I will be OK. Not because of who I am, but because of who God is. He is a good, good Father. He is always with us and always for us, just like His Word says He is. He cannot not be faithful and His Spirit — the very hope of Christ — lives in me.

When I think about all of those things, I find everything I need to overcome because the Jesus in me is stronger than the waves of darkness that try to overtake me. In Him, I have nothing to fear.

Q: After college, you sought out the help of a Christian counselor. What did you learn about the connection between your struggles with your faith alongside your battles with anxiety and depression?

I learned that God wasn’t punishing me with anxiety and depression, instead, He was allowing it as an opportunity to deepen my relationship with Him. I also learned that having anxiety and depression didn’t make me any less of a Christian, it just meant I had different areas I had to learn to trust God with. In this case, that involved areas of mental health.

Q: You write that faith is the answer we’re all looking for — the solution to all of our hurts, pain and sorrows. Why do you think women reach for other solutions often before they reach for Jesus?

Faith in Jesus can be a hard thing. It’s like navigating a ship through a high seas storm. The passengers can’t see what lies ahead, they just have to trust the captain knows what he is doing and will get them safely to the other side. If we don’t trust God, that makes it hard to have faith in Him and easy to turn to earthly solutions that are more immediate and absolute.

The other thing we must consider is the world we are living in. Our world is becoming increasingly faithless. We’ve lost faith in the things we can see, so it’s no wonder we’ve lost faith in the things we can’t see.