JONI, UNDERWAY
TOP 10 DESTINATIONS
In Joni, Underway we are taken on a sailboat cruise from Maine, USA, across the Atlantic to Norway. For Joni’s brother, this trip was #1 on his bucket list. What are your top 10 destinations around the world?
Jonathan: since there are two of us, we’ll each give five, and if some of them don’t match (they won’t!) then I guess we’ll have to go on separate vacations!
Kelly: Fair enough. You go ahead and start.
#1 (Jonathan):
The next FIFA World Cup! That would be Russia, 2018. Russia might not have made my top five on its own, but since the World Cup is there, then it makes the list. I’m a recent convert to watching pro soccer, so I’m not the biggest fan ever (like I probably won’t paint my face or cry or anything), but the overall experience would be a huge draw for me. All the other people visiting from the USA, supporting our team; watching soccer; experiencing a foreign country; and just soaking up the amazing festive vibe that a World Cup brings. Awesome.
#1 (Kelly): Okay, I can agree with Jonathan on this one. When Jonathan fell in love with soccer, he brought me along for the ride. We may support different clubs, but we could wear red, white, and blue together for the World Cup. Russia would be fun to see, and the World Cup would be an amazing experience, so this hits my top destinations list as well as my bucket list!
#2 (Jonathan):
The second stop on my tour of top 5 destinations would be England. Now, that’s pretty broad—you could have all kinds of experiences in England. The specific type of experience I would like to have is to immerse myself in 19th century England. Not the history (don’t care!), but the lifestyle. I want to live there for a month or whatever, and try to recreate life from the regency era, or even later victorian. I mean, it doesn’t have to go so far as dressing up (like that movie “Austenland”, although I wouldn’t be opposed), but I would prefer to not stay in any modern hotel or anything. I want to just live in some secluded country manor and feel like a local (a rich one). And I would definitely have to visit all the Charlotte Bronte sites.
#2 (Kelly):
I suppose that could be a fun trip, but if I only get five, I think this is where our vacation together would come to an end. I’d stop in England long enough to watch a soccer game (football match!) in a local pub with the rowdy supporters and then I’d be off to my real #2 destination…
I want to take a road trip across the United States. I want to hit all the continental states, every major city, and all the fun attractions in between. I’ve done mini versions of this and driven coast-to-coast and back again, but I wasn’t able to go everywhere and really take the time I wanted in each place. Give me two or three months, a smooth ride, an iPod full of my favorite tunes and the open road baby! I’d be in heaven. (Also, I vow right now, that I will do this before I die, so I guess this is on my bucket list too, lol)
#3 (Jonathan):
Okay, here’s a dream vacation I call “The James Bond Experience.” No, I don’t pretend to be a secret spy (but if there were such a vacation package, I’d totally do it). What I do is basically experience the ultimate in luxury and sophistication (like Bond). This includes cruising the Mediterranean in a private megayacht, and making stops along the coast to eat at private homes of cool people (no restaurants). Of course, we would have to stop in Montenegro, which is the location of the casino in “Casino Royale.” Although I don’t know what I’d do there, since I don’t gamble or drink or seduce women or thwart international terrorists. But I would wear a tuxedo.
#3 (Kelly): While Jonathan’s pulling out his tux and living the life of luxury in the Mediterranean, I’ll be busting out the hiking boots and backpack and heading to Mount Kilauea, Hawaii. Why? Because volcanoes are awesome. Duh.
I would love to get up close and personal with a live fire-spewing mountain. (Well, not too close, I guess…) And the fact that this particular volcano happens to be in the Hawaiian Islands, where I can enjoy a pig-roasting feast, learn to hula, and have a local hottie give me surfing lessons? (While I watch him from shore of course because getting in the ocean scares me.) Sign me up!
#4 (Jonathan)
Since Jurassic Park isn’t real, then I would have to fall back on the next best amusement park, Disneyland. The original Disneyland in LA, not any of the other parks in the world (don’t care!). Kelly, I already know what you’ll say: “But we live six hours from there, we go all the time.” That’s true, but I’m talking about doing Disneyland the RIGHT way, not the way we’re forced to do it because money is limited and we have four kids who would scratch their eyes out if we did it my way. MY way would be to take a full week, and we stay at the Grand Californian Hotel, of course. And we have a representative from Disney—like a Disney historian guru—who takes us all over the park, a little bit each day, explaining the history, pointing out little-known facts and quirks, giving us the whole VIP experience. We try all the different places to eat, and we get screenings at their theatre of various Disney animated films that inspired the rides. So basically, it becomes a nostalgic celebration of all things Disney, rather than just a mad rush to wait in lines for roller coasters.
#4 (Kelly): Jonathan is going to divorce me for saying this, but Disneyland isn’t my favorite amusement park. Give me rollercoasters, and lots of them! (Yeah, I’d definitely hit a few Six Flags on my cross-country road trip.) So, maybe I’d meet up with him in LA for lunch as I fly from Hawaii to my number 4 destination:
I would love to visit Rio de Janeiro! Well, I’d love to visit a lot of South America, but if I had to pick just one place, point me to Rio! Especially if it’s Carnival. It sounds intimidating and exciting all at the same time. This city is so rich in culture but it’s also surrounded by the Amazon rainforest, which is the main draw for me. I want to tour the Amazon and zipline through the jungle. (I‘ll just have to bring a bunch of valium with me because I have a serious phobia of bugs and, well, I hear the jungle is full of giant ones. But after my day excursions exploring the jungle I can come back to my nice cushy hotel, read a book on the beach for a while, eat some authentic Brazilian food, (YUM!), and scope out the local soccer team. (Also yum!)
#5 (Jonathan):
The circumlunar flight by Space Adventures. This is a real thing—Space Adventures is offering private flights around the moon, passing within 100 kms of the moon’s “dark side” and then watching the earth rise as you come out from behind the moon. They also offer programs for private citizens to train as an astronaut and live on the ISS (International Space Station), which would be an amazing package. This is all still a few years off and would cost millions, but I’m just sayin’…if I could, I would. In fact, if space travel were more practical and available, it would be my #1.
#5 (Kelly): Wow. The moon? That might be a little too adventurous for me. Though the idea of liftoff sounds like a hell of a ride, the thought of being in deep space gives me the creeps. (Much like scuba diving and being under the water.) Have fun with that one Jonathan, and make sure to take a selfie with the Earth in the background. While he’s off jet setting (rocket setting?) to the MOON, I think I’ll settle for South Africa.
Maybe it was my obsession with The Lion King when I was younger, or my love of animals, but I would LOVE to see Africa. I want to go on a guided safari. It’s like the zoo without all the cages! But don’t worry, I’d follow the rules and keep my windows rolled up so I don’t get eaten by Simba. Better yet, I want to hot air balloon over the savannah. That would be AMAZING. Hey Jonathan, our fifteenth anniversary is coming up next year. What do you think? Can we? I promise I’ll let you stay in the hotel that Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore stayed in in the movie Blended. (I’ll just get some ruggedly handsome safari guide with a five o’clock shadow and an elephant gun to take me out while you stay poolside.)
Jonathan: So there you go, our top ten destinations, which reveals a lot about ourselves. Most of Kelly’s are way too adventurous for me, and most of mine don’t involve hot male tour guides, so I guess we’re both on our own, lol. But hey, we’ll always have the World Cup!